You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
