i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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