Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
