There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize