i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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