I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
