so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
