This is not my ceiling
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
