Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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