he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Randomize
