I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
