I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
