come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
