have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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