Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
