I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
You are the jesus of drinking
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
