C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
