sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
