omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
