He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Randomize
