her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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