Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
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