Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
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