I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
