apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
