and i looked up. we had an audience...
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
