hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
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