just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
