hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
