true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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