does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
