I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
