dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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