I wish I could punch you in the face.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Randomize
