I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
