i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
