So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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