I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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