Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize
