tell your sister to shave her snatch
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Randomize
