there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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