Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
