My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
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