I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I deserve this hangover.
Randomize
