out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
