just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
