I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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