What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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