I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
