The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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