No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
