Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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