so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I think I just shit out all my problems.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
