well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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