And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
