i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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